The Freak Show

Hubs and I are independent introverts.  For the most part we like to quietly do our own thing.  When it came to getting married we wanted to take the afternoon off work and go to city hall to sign some papers.  Knowing my mother would never let me forget it if she wasn’t there (I actually went back to school for a three year program so I wouldn’t have to listen to my mom complain that she missed my University graduation) we decided to do something bigger.  By that I mean that we invited immediate family only (sorry again friends and relative) and had 25 people witness us get married in my parent’s living room one Friday morning.  We were fortunate enough that 3/4ths of Hub’s siblings could fly in from around the world, and his mother came from India.

Because of the small wedding in another country, part of this trip was so that Hub’s mother could host a wedding reception for us.  Today was the reception, or as Hubs liked to tease my parents and I before the trip “the freak show”.  The reception was from noon to four o’clock (note 4 hrs) and it consisted in us dressing up in beautiful (ahem, hot and heavily beaded) Indian outfits and sitting on a stage under heat lamps, er, spot lights as the hosts brought up relatives to congratulate us, chat a little about how they are related and how everyone is doing, pose for a professional photograph, pose for the videographer to take some shots, then exit the stage for the next guest.  The waiting relatives would all sit around staring at the stage (us) as they waited their turn, and guests would be taken to the side room in groups for lunch.

The lunch room had long skinny tables set up with chairs on one side facing another long skinny table with the same set up.  In front of each seat was a banana leaf functioning as a plate with various curry and vegetables blobs on it.  People would sit down and start eating as the servers would come along with stainless steel buckets (nice ones, not barn ones) and scoop out various other dishes like rice, biryani, rasum and dal, refilling as people emptied their leaves.  As in “theme” with the banana leaf, there were no utensils.  It really was interesting, but I was exhausted by the time it was our turn, which came at the end of a long hot day.

I was told there would be A/C at the reception hall, but I also saw the “we’ll see” expression on my mother-in-law’s face when I was told this, so I was not surprised when Hubs and I spent four hours sitting (as in standing) on the warming tray stage greeting people.  “Lucky” for them, my parents and Sally also got to sit centre stage.  It was nice to meet Hub’s family and community, and I think I handled it pretty well.  I think my parents were pretty tired and hot by the end, but said to themselves “it’s a once in a lifetime experience” and trooped right through.

Poohpers had it rough; she was the baby that cried if you held her too much, unlike most babies, if she was overwhelmed she wanted you to put her on a blanket in the corner by herself instead of holding and cuddling her.  In this culture people love to touch babies and chuck their chins and pinch their cheeks.  We’ve had women come from the other side of the department store just to do such.  So at a gathering where anyone and everyone that might even remotely be related even through marriage is invited to avoid disrespecting someone my little Poohpers met most of her relatives with a loud “NO!” followed by her turning her head away and crying.

Lastly was Sally.  Sally is a good kid, but as I’m not afraid to tell my sister, her Mother spoils her.  For the reception, Sally (our little hockey player) was all dressed up in a fancy ornate dress with ruffles out the wa-hoo and fresh flowers in her hair.  I was the one fortunate enough to sit beside her so I got to watch the excitement fade like a meteor barreling to earth.   I got the questions and comments that went from “aren’t you incredibly board?” to “well at least you have something to distract yourself” to “Is it seriously going to be another two hours?” all while I watched her slowly melt down her chair.  It was at the point that she was slouched in the chair so much that her head was resting on the back of the chair with her one foot tucked up under her butt and the other one sticking out towards the crowd (note in this culture it’s rude to put your feet anywhere but on the floor and super rude to point the soles at anyone) that I decided I would suggest to her that she could take a walk if she liked.  Sally looked at me with shock and disgust on her face and said “but they expect me to sit up here, it’s proper!”